|
|
|
April 11th, 2005
12:42 pm - last essay
have you ever written 3000 words that said absolutely nothing?
I just have.
And I still have at least another 1500 of them to go. Fill in 1500 blanks. I can do this. 5pm is the time to watch!
|
April 5th, 2005
12:15 am - Finally.
Tonight, I will rediscover sleep. I can sleep. Finally. Full-out, no-holds-barred sleep.
I submitted my thesis this Monday
(THANKing GOD from the bottom of my heart that it was actually completed on time)
only to find by two essays and one presentation due within the next 6 days. Because these classes have been peripheral to the T-thing, I have effectively had to swallow all the readings of these two modules in these 6 days. Yay, I think.
That said, I did have a friend who madly scrambled through 5 essays in 2 weeks. So I concede to him. I can only say
It's SLEEPING TIME!
---
PS. Jie: THANK YOU! :) will write asap... after bed.
|
March 18th, 2005
12:18 am
Thesis alert: due in 11 days.
---
This semester will always be remembered in three distinct parts.
January: Church musical / real break after hectic 6 months
February: Dengue fever / continuous sleeping
March: Thesis fever
Strangely enough, none of these parts include school. It is indeed time to graduate. I guess the last part of April will be MEET preparations.
---
This last is said just for the heck of it and with great vigour:
I love my MEET team members! :D
|
March 10th, 2005
12:37 am
This is bizarre. This is part of the USSR's moral education programme in the 1970s for secondary school students:
Besides the usual yadada about being loyal to Marx and Communist precepts, the syllabus will cover:
d. Abliity to maintain friendly relations with the opposite sex.
e. Ability to detect all forms of humiliation and insults, disrespect, lack of comradeship and to denounce these.
And yes, I am still behind my target of finishing by today.
|
February 21st, 2005
01:11 am
Two nights ago, as our MEET team prayed together, this was prayed:
Dear God,
we come with all our "I-don't-knows"
to the God who knows
and we trust You to lead us...
and it encouraged me so tremendously as I face the rest of this uncertain year.
|
February 3rd, 2005
11:33 pm
thank you, to everyone, for showing your concern. :) For all the love that came my way.. :) thank you.
i'm out of the hospital. 7 days of hospital life. Not something I will ever want to repeat again.
not good stuff. :) really.
The bloodcount is going up (at least I assume it is since that's their criteria for letting me out). No more dengue. I now view mosquitoes with suspicious eyes.
This has turned out to be a rather extended bug story with more consequences than usual. Oddly enough, I have no recollection of encountering the bug that brought it all on. I do not remember getting bitten at all in the past month. So I guess we'll have to term this 'The Invisible Bug' story.
The largest effect so far is having to recover social skills and natural physical springiness (the kind that lets you stay out of bed). I never knew talking to people took so much effort. And I fall asleep all the time. I sit down and then I fall asleep. :) Odd.
*grin* but really, after talking mainly to myself and my books for two weeks, going back to school today was quite a challenge. I had to consciously think about what people say after "hello"... I have forgotten :) So I talk to you by this.
And say
thank you very much
from the bottom of my heart for all the love that came in so many forms.
|
January 24th, 2005
07:19 pm - sick again
hello, the following cut has one bit on me looking at the red liquid that flows in my veins (nothing gory). But if the mention of red stuff makes you queasy, then please skip. :)
( sick again. )
This is also annoying. This is my third bout of fever this month. Plus this is the semester that I can least afford to get sick. Any other semester I can remain unmoving on my bed for two months without worrying but this is thesis semester!
Although this has made me realised that the TV is flashing images at a much higher rate nowadays. Even kids' programmes go at quite a speed. It's been rather unsettling. I give up on the TV and watch sky and HDB blocks instead :)
I shall watch you :)
|
January 13th, 2005
01:09 am
Just drew up my thesis schedule and heh, if I thought the time was short, it has now been re-emphasized. If all goes according to plan, I have to write one chapter a week continually, starting this Monday, just to get it all done with time to spare for binding.
I would have run around in a circle to symbolically act out panic :) but then, God is greater and bigger
and He's been showing that there's more to life than thesis/school/etc.
To which I must testify that He has seen me through the previous semester
commitments, responsibilities, mad joys, more than enough time for people, new friends, old friends, time with Him, walks, library hangouts, canteen fellowship, Bible study, work, ups and downs and lefts and rights, and many bugs...
so I give thanks for the wonderful semester that was sem 1 and trust that He will give me the grace to follow Him through this semester, good bad or buggy.
:)
To God be the glory.
|
January 12th, 2005
10:18 pm - An almost-bug story
Tuesday morning - a peaceful beginning to the start of my last semester in school.
The sun shineth..
the bird in the bush sings..
and there I am again, at the table with its beautiful port view, my back against the wall.
Because it is somewhat chilly, I slide along the seat (which can fit two) to the further sunlit end. As I sit there, just enjoying the sunlight, something disturbing flickers in the light.
I blink.
The twinkle of light does not disappear.
As I move my head, the flicker of white light slides with me. Not good. As my eyes widen anxiously, I peer to my right and left. What I see is truly not good!
I'm surrounded by a large expense of spider web! It runs parallel to the wall at my back straight out into the tree on my left. As mad thoughts start gibbering in my head, I hastily put my arm through a large space in the web and push my cup of tea far away.
Then I realise that I haven't spotted the spider that made this...
I fled.
|
January 4th, 2005
09:07 am
Because this is the kind of thing you don't actually hold a conversation about.. :)
( delia being sick )
Because there are events today that I really wanted to wake up for..
Breakfast with Dianne
Lunch with Diane
Dinner with Juniors in church.
and finally, there is sunlight today..
|
December 1st, 2004
12:34 am - school.
In my head, going back to school from town has retained its original meaning. Standing at the bus-stop in Orchard, I told myself that I was heading back to school. Then the bus came along and I got up instinctively. It wasn't till two stops later that it dawned upon me that I wasn't going back to the uni. I was on 190. :)
*amused* so that's what school still means at the subconscious level, after so many years.
That said, 151 is now one of my favourite buses. It goes everywhere that I need to go :) my route out into the vast world.
|
November 29th, 2004
11:55 pm
I am socially oblivious.
As I was thinking back on the past few weeks, I realised that I might have made a few people mad because of my lack of social skills. On top of ignoring a number of others - I keep having people ask me why I didn't say hello. How do you explain that you really did not see them? Just me obliviously meandering around school trying to synthesize months of knowledge. Where do all of you learn your social skills and norms and conventions? How do all of you know these things? *squinches face* :P
Ah well, someday perhaps.
---
Xuan told me on Sunday on the bus ride home that Steven and I are childish. Hahaahaha.. *amused* I believe the more correct term ought to be 'young at heart'. It's just so joyful to be around the Juniors. And I had this marvellous pole fight with Daniel even without prior choreography. We couldn't stop, on and on until we fell apart laughing. Plus newspaper-ball fights and many new songs! hooray!
It's odd that she didn't mention Paul though. (Oei, I think you're not childish enough yet. Join us!)
---
Bug story #gazillion:
On this beautiful morning, a girl meanders over to a table in a quiet corner with the wonderful harbour view. She sets down her bao and her cup of good tea. The breakfast has been anticipated for many weeks now. Kicking off her sandals, she settles down to read. For one moment everything was comforting and perfect. Then it happens. A second too late she glances up from her book to spy a shiny green bug bent on kamikaze, right into her untouched brimming cup of tea. Noooo! The bug drowns (of course) but does not sink. Its green carapace floats smugly on the surface, round and round.
It's okay, at least the green bug made my tea look like swamp water. I got to pretend that it was the reenactment of some swampland scenario... although it would have been good to get even one sip.
|
November 25th, 2004
02:16 am - midnight junkie
Nacho Cheese Doritos on my left, a glass of water on my right and my notes in the middle.
Like Fern says, "The library is turning me into a junkie." Except that in my case, it's the sitting down for extended periods, which I have not managed to do till last week. :) But then hey, it's three papers in three days (which is nothing, yes, compared to many other people's schedules).
So I am a junkie. This is the first semester I discover the wide variety of junk food in school. I have never known about the amazing spread that is available in school. *impressed* Our library community is slowly but surely working its way through all the flavours of the Ritter Sport (is that the name?) chocolate. I've certainly sampled an extremely wide range of Meiji innovations. And the interesting cookies. Mmm.
Previously, for the last three years, I've only alternated between mentos and polo. And at that, a tube every other week or so. The world has now opened up before me... I will be a junkie!
Anyway, Justice tomorrow morning and here I am still perusing my notes. The readings for this class are certainly my favourite set of readings this semester. What is your conception of the individual? What is justice in the context of the state?
And you know what, at night, my fingers can just keep going. The words are just pouring out and I'm inflicting it on you. So I stop and go back to drawing links and pictures... and eating my Poifull.... :)
|
November 23rd, 2004
08:05 am
Looking forward to another day at the library :) actually some of the better parts have been the regular walks from the library and back. In the quiet mornings and evenings, the trees are lovely, the sky is huge and sometimes, just sometimes, you can see the white cranes fly in. And when you walk to school, you have a choice between silence, which is so rare, and song, which is always bubbling out. Such a hard choice. Maybe I should learn a song of silence :)
Off to school again, the almost-final stretch.
|
November 13th, 2004
11:08 pm
YAY! BIG BIG YAY!
why?
Because all my essays are finally over. Finally finally over. Finally! It's been a challenge to stay on top of everything in this past month, especially with one giant essay due every week. Talk about building up discipline for the thesis.. *laugh*
In my last essay, I think I must have crossed line to being burnt out. I felt like I had nothing left to contribute to the paper I was writing. It was difficult to even conjure up the motivation to sit down and type.
but after tonight, I have been rejuvenated! :) see below..
---
In other news, ahh... male voices are so wonderful and so full. The sound of guys singing is always so deep, so much power, got oomph. I be inarticulate from night of hearing Budak Pantai in concert.
There were a number of perfect moments. But the one that has lingered was the moment of stillness when they did "Joyful, joyful, Lord we adore Thee". And it was so beautiful. Every note of it, deep and full and resounding.
And E! I saw that red flash at one of the songs at the end, just before the punchline of the song hit. Was that your idea?
|
November 12th, 2004
09:18 am
Dear A, could I persuade you to move to MSN messenger?
|
October 29th, 2004
01:54 am
I need a thesis statement :(
God is bigger than essay! :)
one life to live.
|
October 28th, 2004
11:17 pm
Like the rest of my happy PParties class, i should get started on my big essay due Monday 10am. Everyone's online and meandering around as they try to find their thesis statements, start their engines, and write!
---
I've been milling around these few days, feeling rather down. But so many unexpected blessings and undeserved moments have come my way that I can only feel thankful.
For all the conversations with good friends...
For the long conversation I had with Sharon about everything that's been happening in our lives but just mainly about God and how He's been awesome in so many ways for both of us
For the surprise M&Ms from Herbert when I was ready to pound my essay into the table (God really sends people at the right times :))
For my new Bible from my cg! Thank you, you guys, esp Grace! :) unexpected and feeling much loved (even if I can no longer take Genesis physically out of context anymore.. )
For Huishan whose cheerful presence at the green table never fails to remind me that it's Thursday!
For CG today which was refreshing and unexpected guests just when I thought no one was coming..
I'm thankful for the people He's brought into my life, and thankful most of all that He's the faithful one, unchanging and dependable through everything. So great, right? So glad :)
---
I fell asleep last night with this full LJ entry (you can see how much I avoid thinking about my essay) written in my head about why I didn't mention God, light of the world, very much in this LJ previously. It was a very useful moment of clarity before I fell into deep sleep. Someday soon I should blog it.
|
October 25th, 2004
01:12 pm
FINALLY.
this is like vomitting blood. Now to take a break before starting on the next two essays.
*off to prepare spittoon..
---
(I do like essays. The reading, preparation and outlining work is very fascinating but three years of papers seemed to have transformed essay crafting into very mechanical filling in of blanks. I need a way to inject more interesting ways of saying the same thing. Maybe this is why everyone turns postmodern. All the self-reflexivity becomes a way of talking to yourself and entertaining yourself while writing.)
|
October 23rd, 2004
11:47 pm
I crawl and claw my way towards 5000 words...
In the end, once you have the outline worked out and the good books read, everything else is a case of fill-in-the-blanks. But five thousand blanks can make you slightly woozy after a while. Tedious.
Dare I say I am bored? I found myself trying to use the biblical material for inventive illustrations and analogies. Adam and Abraham have already entered the essay. Maybe when I have reached 5000, I would have gotten to Revelations? And this for an essay on global civil society...
There have been increasing moments of flippancy. In this spirit, I had written a long paragraph, amongst others, detailing why knowing about the failures of the state system (done to death!) is an imperative call to action for all readers of my paper. NOW! ACT NOW! If they consider themselves ethical human beings, they cannot let the constituencies of the silenced and marginalized stay like that for any moment longer! Go forth!
When I finished that paragraph, I realised it was time to take (yet another) break and go to bed.
3000 words and counting...
(did you ever notice that the frequency of using the wordcount function is a good indicator of your boredom level?)
[pretend footnote: Adam and Abraham have also since been removed because they look rather out-of-shape.]
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fedaddle's journal